Respecting Your In-Laws When They Don't Respect You - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - July 17

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Respecting Your In-Laws When They Don't Respect You
By Vivian Bricker 

“Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:17).

It is an unfortunate reality that many couples have problems with their in-laws. Many parents have problems with letting their children go and allowing them to enter into the sacred bond that is known as marriage. Some moms and dads want to hold onto their children even though they are adults and can make their own decisions. Due to this desire and the desire to keep their children, some parents have a continued struggle to see their children married to their spouse, especially if they don't like the person their child married. 

In an ideal world, this would never happen; however, we are not living in an ideal world, but rather, in a fallen world. Due to living in a fallen world, many in-laws will dislike and disrespect their daughter-in-law or son-in-law. Maybe you have already noticed this in your own life. Your in-laws seem to dislike you, and they don't respect you in any form or fashion. This can be frustrating and very hurtful, but you must not retaliate. 

The Bible is clear that we must not repay evil with evil (1 Peter 3:9). Instead, we are to return evil with blessing. By doing this, we are honoring God with our actions and behaviors. Just because we have the desire to return the same hatred and disrespect to our in-laws doesn't mean we should. We need to pray and ask the Lord to give us strength to extend love, blessings, and respect, even when it is hard. 

This is the way the Lord wants us to live and treat others. Jesus has already told us that all people will know we are His disciples if we love one another (John 13:34-35). Loving one another can be difficult when the person does not show the same love back to us. However, Jesus wants our love to be unconditional just as His love is unconditional. We don’t only need to love those who love us (Luke 6:32). 

We need to love all people, including disrespectful in-laws. While we cannot control how they treat us, we can control our own actions and behaviors. The Lord will help guide us into the right thing, even when we don’t feel like doing it. Jesus is faithful, and His love will help us to love others. Through the development of the fruits of the Spirit, we will be able to handle any difficult encounter with a person (Galatians 5:22-23). 

The Apostle Peter tells us, “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:17). As we carefully look at this passage, we see that it starts off with saying “Show proper respect to everyone.” Showing proper respect to everyone includes our in-laws. Even if you don’t feel like showing respect to your in-laws because they have been mean to you, choose to respect them because this is what the Lord wants you to do. 

We might think being rude or disrespectful to our in-laws will only hurt them, but it will also hurt God. They are also made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). This means they deserve respect, love, and care. It might not feel like it when they are being mean, but you must take the high road. God wants you to glorify Him in your actions and be a positive force in your in-laws' lives. 

Eventually, if you cease giving in to their meanness and disrespect, you will come to see that they won’t be able to slander you. Return their disrespect with respect and their hatred with love (1 Peter 3:15-16). In this way, the love of Jesus will shine in your life, and your in-laws will take notice of it. Continue to follow Jesus and love Him, and this will help you to respect your in-laws. 

“Dear Lord, it can be hard to respect my in-laws when they disrespect me. Please help me to love them and show respect even when it is hard. Help me to remember that I’m serving You when I love them and respect them. Give me strength when I cannot continue on. In Your Name, I pray, Amen.” 

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes 

Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.

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