When You and Your Child Need a Little “Deschooling” Grace

Audio By Carbonatix

By Tricia Goyer

It happened one Tuesday morning over math. My daughter sat at the table, pencil in hand, tears in her eyes. I could feel my own frustration rising like a kettle about to whistle. She didn’t want to continue, and honestly, neither did I.

We’d been homeschooling for years, but lately, every lesson felt like pulling teeth. The spark was gone. I’d catch myself scrolling through Instagram, comparing our messy homeschool to someone else’s highlight reel—perfect handwriting, smiling faces, color-coded planners. Meanwhile, our schoolroom was covered in snack crumbs and self-doubt.

That day, I closed the math book, took a deep breath, and said softly, “Let’s take a break.”

I didn’t know it then, but what we both needed wasn’t a new curriculum. It wasn’t a stricter schedule. We needed deschooling—a season to breathe, reconnect, and rediscover the joy of learning together.

What Is Deschooling?

Deschooling is the process of unlearning traditional school habits and rediscovering what learning can look like at home: relaxed, relationship-based, and rooted in curiosity. It’s about creating space for healing and rediscovery for both you and your child. Sometimes the best thing for both of you is to pause, not to push harder. This is deschooling.

Signs Your Child (and You) Might Need Deschooling

You might notice:

• Resistance to learning: Every lesson sparks tears, arguments, or blank stares.
• School-related anxiety: Your child feels pressure to perform or compares themselves to peers.
• Lack of curiosity: They’ve lost their spark to explore and ask questions.
  

And for parents:

• You feel panicky when there’s no clear schedule.
• You doubt whether “natural learning” really counts.
• You compare your child’s progress to other homeschoolers or public school kids.
  

If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath. As I shared on Hip Homeschool Moms, “If there is a hard season, don’t beat yourself up for not getting everything done. Just figure out what you can do, what you enjoy, and do that. It’ll be okay.”

What Deschooling Looks Like

Deschooling means returning to the heart of why you chose to homeschool. Here are ways to do that: 

✅ Play more. Board games, nature walks, baking, building forts—these are learning moments in disguise.
✅ Read together. Choose books you both love. (No worksheets required!)
✅ Ask curious questions. “What do you wonder about today?”
✅ Invite creativity. Drawing, Lego building, or storytelling often reveal what your child truly enjoys learning.
✅ Reflect, don’t rush. Keep a journal about what you both notice during this time—freedom, joy, or new interests blooming.

I often remind parents that the best type of homeschooling starts with the heart. It’s not about checking boxes but nurturing relationships and curiosity.

When I focus less on perfection and more on peace, everything changes. When I’m at peace and I’m having fun, the kids are having fun, too.

The Heart Behind It All

Homeschooling isn’t about recreating school at home. Instead, it’s about reimagining learning together. When you stop chasing perfection and start pursuing connection, something beautiful happens. Your child begins to trust that learning isn’t punishment, and you begin to enjoy being their guide again.

I’ve learned that homeschooling is less about strict schedules and more about life rhythms. We go on walks together, exercise together, do chores together, go to the library, watch educational movies, and do devotions together.  Those everyday moments are education.

So today—let go of the pressure. Take the walk. Read the story. Laugh at the kitchen table. That’s education at its best.

Remember: Grace Leads the Way

Homeschooling will never be perfect. Some days it’s peaceful, other days it’s chaos—but both are part of the story.

When I look back, that tearful math day was a turning point for us. Letting go of rigid expectations made room for joy to grow again. My daughter began writing stories, painting, and asking deep questions. And I began to rediscover the joy of being her mom, not just her teacher.

Friend, if you’re in a hard season, consider this your permission slip to rest. Take time to reconnect. Read together. Laugh together. Learn together. Because sometimes the most productive thing you can do as a homeschooling parent is to fall back in love with learning again — together.

When you let go of perfection and embrace peace, your homeschool becomes more than education—it becomes a relationship.

Additional Resources

When Learning Feels Like Wonder

If you’ve taken that deep breath and stepped back from structured lessons for a season, you might be wondering how to reintroduce learning in a way that feels fun again—something that reconnects your child’s heart to discovery.

That’s precisely why I wrote Wonders of the Ocean Realm. Homeschooling doesn’t have to mean textbooks and tension. Sometimes, the best lessons happen when we dive into wonder—when science and faith meet in the beauty of God’s creation.

Discover:

Take your kids on an unforgettable underwater adventure! Wonders of the Ocean Realm blends faith, storytelling, and science through five fact-packed short stories of marine life designed especially for readers ages 8–12. From sun-soaked Hawaiian tidepools to the inky depths of the Atlantic, every page invites curiosity and conversation.

Delight:

Meet Astrid, the colorful sea star; Maximus, the mighty mantis shrimp; Dexter, the clever mimic octopus; Wendell, the majestic humpback whale; and Luna, the mysterious anglerfish who glows in the darkness. Each creature’s story comes alive with stunning full-color illustrations and true scientific details that turn reading time into discovery time.

Deepen:

Each story ends with Undersea Understanding and Deep-Sea Dive sections that point kids toward God’s intentional design—showing that every creature, from the smallest sea star to the most incredible whale, reveals His creativity and care. With Scripture tie-ins, reflection questions, and short devotionals, children will deepen both their faith and their fascination with the world beneath the waves.

Do:

Whether you’re easing back into learning after deschooling, building a homeschool unit study, or just looking for a family read-aloud that inspires awe, Wonders of the Ocean Realm is the perfect place to start. It helps kids (and parents!) remember that real education begins with wonder.

Dive into discovery. Delight in creation. Deepen your faith. Do something that sparks wonder today! Because sometimes, the best way to fall back in love with learning is to dive right in.

Grab your copy of Wonders of the Ocean Realm here!