Keeping the Connection

Audio By Carbonatix

As I’m sure we all realize, we are living in a world that is very divisive. I’ve touched on this topic before and I’m sure I’ll continue to talk and write about it in the future because it’s so important. If you’ve read or watched the news or scrolled through any of your social media accounts lately, then I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. It’s becoming more and more common to see groups of people who are seeking to define the world in terms of who we call, “Us,” and who we call, “Them.” Like with anything, this can go from “not a big deal” to “concerning” pretty quickly. It’s not such a big deal when this is done in the (generally) lighthearted way fans of opposing teams or drivers of different brands of cars like to heckle each other and talk about how their team or vehicle is superior. But when issues like religious beliefs, political affiliations, or questions of identity get involved, we see that things can take an ugly turn pretty quickly.

If we start to categorize others as, “People who think this,” or, “People who think that,” this tendency can trickle into our family life. Before we know it, we may find ourselves thinking less of some of the people who have been (and continue to be) very important to us. Once we create these categories, it becomes more and more natural to start to group people together.

However, these categories that tell us that certain ways of thinking make other people more or less like us leave a lot out of the equation. If we stopped associating with everybody who didn’t see the world the exact same way we do, we wouldn’t have anybody left to spend time around! That’s not an overstatement in an attempt to make a point. Think about your absolute closest friends, your spouse, and your kids. No matter how close you are, there are going to be differences between you. It might be as insignificant as your taste in design or art, but it’s likely that you also have differences in more meaningful areas. Maybe you’ve agreed to disagree on a certain topic and neither of you make a big deal about the other person saying something they know you don’t agree with. Maybe you’ve both become pretty skillful at avoiding bringing up certain topics altogether.

My point is that, from personal experience, we all know that it is possible to disagree about something and still remain in relationship. This works when everybody involved agrees that the relationship is more important than the disagreement. Think about how important that is; the relationship is more important than the disagreement. What I want to encourage everybody reading this to do is make the commitment to your meaningful relationships because they are more important than any disagreements you might have. I know that it’s going to be hard at times, but it will absolutely be worth it.

Choosing to maintain relationships despite disagreement or differing perspectives is a sign of growth and maturity, not a sign that you are being dangerously open minded or that you don’t believe in your opinion earnestly enough. Instead of allowing conversations with our loved ones to become moments to decide who is right or wrong, let’s value the relationship more than anything that might stand between us. When we commit to that, I believe we’ll be winning more often at home.