Man Caves and She Sheds

Audio By Carbonatix

I’m guessing that you have probably heard the terms “man cave” and “she shed.” Man caves are usually rooms either in the basement of the house or in the garage where men can hang out and embrace their maleness. You will usually find something like sports memorabilia or hunting decor on the walls. Anything that defines that particular man’s interests. I think that man caves originated because in the past, women decorated most houses, and men felt like there wasn’t a room in the house that reflected their personality or tastes. Or it could be because men wanted to watch more sports on TV than their wives and this was a way to make that happen. 

These days, it seems like men and women usually decorate their houses together, blending both of their unique styles and personalities. But the need for one’s own space is apparently still important. Thus: “man caves” originated first, and then “she sheds” entered the picture later.

These special little places are usually located in the backyard and are designed to give women a quiet place to slip away. They are similar in size to a work shed. But, from the pictures I’ve seen, the decor is more reminiscent of the Taj Mahal. A couple of them I saw actually had beds in them, which indicates that when the occupants spend time in them, it may be more than a few hours. 

I think it’s great for couples to have a little time to themselves. In fact, it’s healthy for relationships. But when it gets to the point where a husband and wife are spending several nights away from each other, then I have some concerns. I’m not referring to the occasional getaway that each spouse might have a few times a year with friends. I’m saying it’s probably not healthy when spouses are sleeping apart from each other a few times a week in the vicinity of their own home. Like in a she shed or a man cave.

When couples grow older together, it’s possible that their relationship may change. Perhaps boredom or simply a difference in interests would cause some kind of breakdown. And that’s how we have to think of it. Just because the nest is empty or you have both changed and feel you have fewer reasons to spend time together, that doesn’t mean the relationship should suffer or end. The solution is to keep the dialogue open and discuss ways you could spend time together. Don’t consider throwing away years of wonderful memories because you lack the creativity or energy to think of how to create new ones.

It’s important that when your children become adults, you don’t rely on them and their families to fill your calendar. While there may be opportunities for you to once again attend sporting events, concerts, and other school-type activities, don’t consider that your retirement plan. This is your adult children’s time and while they may very well invite you to several events, don’t expect it and don’t invite yourself to everything that they have going on.

I understand that sometimes as people grow older, they become less adventurous and more inflexible. Try not to let that stop you from finding something that brings you and your spouse together. She sheds and man caves are okay, but be sure that they are adding to your relationship and not coming between it. Protect your time together and you will win more often at home.