By Alicia Searl, Crosswalk.com
I’m gonna start with a story of sorts. When my hubby and I were first married, we owned this little 700-square-foot condo in the middle of town. A few months before we said “I do,” we worked tirelessly to get this little place in shape. My dear parents and grandmother even came over and helped us tear down walls, throw in a new kitchen sink, and replace the icky yellowish-green carpet all in a means to make it more appealing. There was even flowery pink and green 1950s wallpaper still stuck to the walls, in case you couldn’t picture it. Yep, we had our work cut out for us! Needless to say, we saw the potential of this precious place and bought it in hopes to “fix it up” and get it ready for our new life together.
But, more than anything else, what really wooed and romanced my young heart was the extra-long hallway that stretched from the front door to the living room. It screamed, “This is perfect for running and jumping on your hubby when he gets home from work!” And, that is exactly what I did! For three years my hubby perfected the art of throwing aside his briefcase and bracing himself just in time for me to come blazing in at full speed, all in a means to smother him in love.
Ahhh… young love. I miss those days. I think if I tried that now, it would either throw out his back or we’d both end up in the emergency room – ha! But, that still doesn’t stop me from greeting my man with a warm “hello” and twinkle in my eye that shows I absolutely adore him.
Okay, so maybe by now you are thinking, this girl is way too much. I get that, and I’ve heard that sentiment before. Over the years, when I have shared my young love greeting story, the response is generally the same, insinuating that my eagerness to greet my hubby is due to my hopelessly romantic heart, or that’s just what “newlyweds” do.
But sweet friend, it’s so much more than that! Greeting one another in a friendly manner is what we are encouraged to do as believers as it promotes a deeper connection with one another (2 Corinthians 13:12). So, in essence, there should always be a sense of excitement when we see our other half, right? And, if not, maybe we should change our mindset.
Now don’t misunderstand, I do get when tension or stress piles up, putting a strain on a marriage, and making any greeting challenging or uncomfortable. But the truth is, we must try. The reason is that a warm greeting could change everything, really! For one, it could soften hearts and open minds.
So, the question stands - should you be greeting your sweet guy wholeheartedly with a warm and friendly greeting every single day? Yes! 100% yes! Does it have to be an elaborate and bold greeting where you drop everything and run over jumping on him? No, but when you greet him warmly, with a little enthusiasm, it touches his heart, setting a loving tone for your marriage.
Let’s dig a little deeper as to why your man needs you to greet him with a gleam in your eye and pep in your step, and in turn, tune up the heat between the two of you!
He Will Feel Appreciated
There is a primary need that is built into the heart of every man, and it is to know that what he is doing truly matters. It’s pretty cliché to say that men are black and white, and they don’t really have many feelings that need to be tended to. While they may think and “feel” differently because they were created by God to be leaders, protectors, and providers (Genesis 1:27, 1 Corinthians 16:13, Ephesians 5:25, Proverbs 24:5-6), they still require a unique set of needs from their wife to feel loved. Appreciation tops the list, closely after showing him honor and respect. In other words, our husbands need to know that what they are doing is appreciated, valued, and important.
So, how does a warm and friendly greeting show you appreciate, honor, and even respect your husband? That sweet gesture says “thank you” in action, while showing you don’t take his provision for granted. It also opens up an invitation to shower him in thanks and praise. These words and actions can mean the world to your man. It’s often the little things that will keep him going and give him the strength and ability to push through a rough day or challenging job. Speak to his heart, and appreciate him with a loving hello.
It Will Make Him Excited to See YOU!
Ask yourself this… is your hubby excited to see you? Does he light up when you’ve been apart? Sadly, many friends I have spoken to over the years have the same defeated answer, and it just breaks my heart. Ladies, we’ve got to change this. And we can! Yes, it can start with us. When we make it a point to show our guys that we are so excited to see them, in time, they will be just as excited to see us!
Let me rewind a bit and address the potential problem though, first. Over time, we build complacency in our marriages, things get stale, or past hurts keep resurfacing, storing tension and bitterness. In time, we bend and sway to the melody of or emotions. Being more of the “feelers,” it causes us to build walls by pushing away to prevent getting our feelings hurt even more. However, our husbands don’t always know how to respond, so they retreat. Now you’ve become more like roommates than lovers!
Friend, this should make us angry! If we want to feel anything, we should be upset that the enemy uses this sneaky tactic to divide us! But rather than letting the evil win, we must strive to push past all the feelings and do something. While greeting your hubby warmly won’t solve everything, it is a start. Get creative and strive to serve his heart by tapping into his love language. If he is acts of service, then greet him with his favorite meal. If he is more of a physical touch kind of guy, greet him with a lingering hug. If he likes quality time, invite him to help you prep dinner and strive to make it fun for him. Being intentional and finding ways to speak into his heart will eventually open him up to receiving it, therefore, feeling motivated to return the love. Before you know it – you’ll both be excited to see one another!
It Builds Intimacy and Closeness
A simple greeting can trigger a wide range of benefits for your marriage. For one, it shows that you are in this together and your actions can extend encouragement and support to face whatever the days ahead hold. A simple hug, kiss, or glance offers hope, welcomes love, and extends forgiveness. The best part is that when we make a conscious effort to greet our sweet spouse warmly, it also opens up an invitation for the beautiful gift of intimacy.
God’s plan for our marriages is to connect us in a deeper way while understanding His unconditional love for us. God saw that it was not good for man to be alone, so He made a helper, and Eve, the first woman, was formed (Genesis 2:18). We see in this first story of man that God wanted us to have a special union and unique companionship with another human. There is no other human bond like it. God also had a purpose for us to have children and raise them up to learn about Him and His unfailing love (Psalm 127:4). Due to His love for us, He gave us the gift of intimacy and the closeness it brings in the marital bed to fulfill these purposes. Our intimacy and closeness as we physically become one flesh nurtures our marriage and essentially glorifies God.
Practice and Perfect “The Holy Kiss”
According to Google and other sources (gotta love when it starts off that way, right?), “experts” say married couples should be kissing at least three times a day! Some even claim they should kiss 5 or more times, with one being a “passionate” kiss lasting more than a few seconds. Do you and your honey do that? I’ll admit that sadly, we don’t. But, it does bring me right back to our newlywed days when kissing didn’t just come naturally, but rather excitedly too!
Whether you and your hubby need to brush back up on your kissing skills or not, we need to address the “holy kiss.” While it is referred to in the Bible as a sign of peace among believers when Paul tells the church to greet one another with a “holy kiss,” it can still be applicable to us today. I’m not saying to greet your fellow brothers and sisters with a “kiss.” That may be awkward! But, the point here is that we can often be genuine in our greeting towards others, especially fellow believers, but fail to extend that sweet greeting to our own spouse.
If you haven’t kissed your hubby in a while, especially in a passionate, lingering sense, then take a trip down memory lane when the anticipation of his kiss was what you lived for. If that doesn’t jog your memory, then turn to Song of Solomon for some inspiration.
Keep in mind that you and your dear husband were designed to kiss, show affection, and build intimacy. Besides, I hear there are amazing health benefits to this sweet little exchange, such as the release of endorphins that can relieve stress and anxiety. Who knows, once you make it more regular, you might feel better too! If nothing else, it sure gives you something to look forward to, and it’s just fun!
Now, go! Greet that hubby of yours in a sweet and tender way and let the sparks fly in your marriage!
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Prostock-Studio
Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy. Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
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